Are you excited to go to Haiti?

 

This has been the question that's got me squirming in the days since deciding to go. Honestly, I don't yet know how to answer that, but I'm going to try anyway. Here's what first goes through my mind - the people of Haiti are digging their parents, their children, and their friends out from under buildings just to know they're really dead. Some won't find the people they've lost, will never get proper closure, and will always have that nagging thought that they could still be alive somewhere that won't allow them to carry on. Many can't work, can't rebuild, and don't know what's next or if there is a next at all. For most, things are desperate.

 

I've been in countries that were just recovering after being at war for decades, and I've been in countries that are still trying to find their way after mass social injustices were visited upon them. I've been in Cambodia where both of those statements apply. In those situations, there was a steady pit of despair in my stomach knowing how long the road to recovery would still be for the people I'd met and loved there. All of those places  were years after the initial wound was dealt, and I still felt that way.

 

Haiti, on the other hand, still lies in ruins. Haiti has only begun to mourn. Haiti still bleeds. And I'm going there.

 

So in thinking all of that, being asked if I'm excited to go to Haiti feels like being asked if I'm excited to stay with a friend for a few months while they do chemo therapy. Going to Haiti will mean mourning with Haiti and watching them go through all of this, and it's going to hurt. That said, there are things I'm looking forward to: I will see healing, in every sense of the word; seeing first hand what God is doing in Haiti; I'm absolutely ecstatic, to the point of crying for joy, at how many are turning TO Him in this painful time, and I'm humbled and honored that He has put me in a place to be a part of that. Above all, there is the sense that I couldn't be doing anything else - it's where my spirit is pulling me, and by that there is a quickening in my blood driving me to do, with great determination, all that God is setting before me. I am anticipating great things for God's kingdom to come out of all this, and also for Haiti. And amidst all those different emotions, there I dwell.

 

So...if anyone has a word for all of that, let me know, cause I could sure use a shorter response to the question.

Like so many people I have poured my heart out in prayer for Haiti, unsure of why this country in need has grabbed ahold of me more so than the other disasters of our time like the tsunami in 2004 or China's earthquake in 2008. From the stories I've heard of Haiti, it seemed that when faced with this kind of disaster its traditional stance on how to follow God (or not follow, as it were) would lead them even further into poverty and depravity. As I prayed, part of me was desperate because I knew how crucial a moment it was in the nations spiritual life, and I had trouble seeing past human stubbornness that threatened to continue to choke the life from these people. As I watched this this morning (originally posted by Seth Barnes, re-posted by Aaron Bruner), I was seeing all those prayers begin to get answered in a powerful way - from the leadership of the country down, all demanding a 180 degree turn on the traditions of the country - and all I could do was cry and worship. This is what we want to see for the entire country. And from there, the entire world.

 

The decision has been made for me to go to Haiti for 3 months as part of a team of project facilitators. We're working out the details, and there are a couple of things that have to happen for me to be able to go (more on that in a moment), but I've said yes to joining the team that will be leaving in the next few weeks. Basically, there are a lot of short term teams that AIM is sending to Haiti over the next year (for starters), and they need leadership on the ground that can stay abreast of the needs in Haiti in order to match the incoming teams to the people and ministries they fit best with. We desire to see the body of Christ in Haiti taking this chance to rebuild their nation on the foundation of God's word, that they would rise up as God's people and lead their country through this. Please be praying that I would be constantly listening to God's direction - in a place like Haiti where needs are scattered over every bit of space available, it's really easy to just try and help and get lost in the details. Listening to God is the ONLY way to have significant impact, and it's hard in that kind of situation for me to hold back on just doing what I think needs doing.

 

One thing that needs to be taken care of before I go, in addition to the usual list of visas and plane tickets, is that this time around I can't just pack my stuff into boxes to store at mom and dad's place and leave, as is usually the case. I made a commitment with some good friends to rent a house together just a few days before the earthquake in Haiti, and so I need to be able to meet that commitment while I'm gone. With just a few things falling into the right places this shouldn't be a problem, but I would greatly appreciate your prayers that what needs to happen would come about quickly and not delay my departure. Also, don't forget to be praying for Leia as she leaves for Swaziland in a couple of weeks.

 

This has been a little scattered, I know, and it's because we're still putting all the details together. I will post more details (like leaving dates and such) once I have them, hopefully some time next week. In the mean time, here's a video from our set up team that was in Haiti last month to give you a little idea of what we're getting into:

For those that haven't been following the Haiti updates with AIM, the logistics team met open doors and opportunities in Haiti that are now being developed into long term plans to aid the people of Haiti. The prayers for their time on the ground (and after) are hugely appreciated, and they couldn't have had the impact they did without them. AIM is implementing a 3 month rotation of former world racers to stay in Haiti to help host short term teams as they minister there over the coming year. I'll let you know if I join them.

 

Two years ago I was on the world race (wow does time go by), and we'd just left a little country called Swaziland and travelled to neighboring South Africa after a week of teachings and ministry there. Later we would return to Swaziland to dedicate a children's village in Nsoko that is still a major ministry for AIM, one that other teams on our squad had a major part in. I helped slaughter the bull! Unknown to me at the time, I was only a couple of very short months from an event that would go down as a defining moment in my family's history, something I wrote about a fair bit on this blog, and something many of you prayed us through - my little sister Leia's car accident, which left her legally blind. Well, it's time for an overdue update on that for all of you.

 

Leia graduated with honors last summer and is hoping to start university this coming September. She wants to become a trauma counselor, is currently taking braille lessons once a week, attempted a little skiing over Christmas (just a few feet of hill), and recently discovered both Lost and The Office, amongst other things. As always when it comes to my sister, there is no telling what will come next because where anyone else would see limitations, Leia simply does what she's going to do without slowing down. As such, in exactly 28 days, Leia will be going on her first missions trip.  Rather than going somewhere semi familiar to see what missions is about and get comfortable with the idea, she's going as far as you can go on the planet to the country with the highest AIDs infection rate in the world (do you see the connection coming?): Swaziland. She will be working with some of the same people I got to when I was there, as well as some of the ministries that have been developed by AIM and local pastors alike in the intervening years, doing a mix of outreach and orphan care. She will only be there 10 days, but I know from experience what just a couple days in Swaziland can do to someone's life.

 

 And so, as the community to whom I have turned to so many times before to carry my family, teams, friends and colleagues  through  with your prayers, I come to you once again. Leia has been raising funds and getting flights and asking a dozen questions about what to bring, so she's about as prepared as anyone else ever is. Which means she needs lots of prayer - for safety, flexibility, provision, and open ears to what the spirit is saying in each moment. She'll be gone from March 12th to the 22nd, so please be in prayer for her and her team during that time. And if you feel so inclined, send me a message if you would like to help with her support. Thank you all for your prayers, they make all the difference in the world every single time!

God has made a way for a team of six World Race alumni to fly into the Dominican Republic this Thursday. From there, they will head to the border of Haiti to serve and establish contacts for future AIM short-term teams. The plan is to start something that will continue to impact Haiti for years to come. Sadly, I missed getting on this team, but if all goes well there will be plenty of opportunities in the near future. So what I need from everyone is this: Pray. World Race went to Haiti for the first time a year ago and through an AIM missionary couple that is there we're doing this set up team. In other words, this is the very start of something - something that we want to see grow for years to come. It needs to be covered that much more in prayer right now. The World Racers from the last few years are doing a 24 hour prayer watch while the team is in Haiti, and I would love it if you could join us. The team has 7 days to identify the largest needs and what will be needed in the months and years to come. In all of our experiences, that only happens when we're fully submitted to and listening to our Father, and prayer is what gets us there. So please, be praying that God would open the team up to what He's doing and where He wants them. Pray for great contacts. Pray for the people of Haiti. And above all, pray that His kingdom would be revealed amidst everything that's happened there.

 

If you would like to follow the team, sign up for updates from these blogs (to name a few): Ashley Musick, Aaron Bruner, Jacob Hoyer, and Steph Tyrna

 

To give to the team's ministry fund:

1. Go to this direct link to give:  https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc= (this is also accessible by going to www.theworldrace.org and clicking on the 'Donate' tab on the homepage. Hit the button that says 'click here to give!')

 

2. Once you're on this page, change the program on the drop-down menu to 'Support a World Race Project.'  A new box will appear, for a description of the project.  Please type in WR HAITI as the name of the Project. 

 Thanks everyone!

Ok, I know it's been a long time. I've been thinking about you guys and writing here, honest. That said, something that takes precedence over ministry and life updates has come up: Haiti. You've all heard the news, I wanted to update you on what AIM is doing in response and also inform you that I've put my name on the list of volunteers should we manage to get a team together to go and help. Please be praying. Here is AIM's update:

 

Thank you to everyone who has been praying and sharing concern for our neighbors in Haiti. As we speak we are coordinating with other NGO's here in San Juan to mount an emergency response to those affected by the earthquake that occurred yesterday evening. 

 

Four hours southwest of our home in San Juan lays the Dominican city of Jimani, which is only about 40 miles east from the hardest hit area of Haiti. Our hope is to be able to travel to Jimani early tomorrow morning, bringing supplies with us. 

 

If the borders are not too difficult, Miguel will attempt to get in as far as possible and access the nearest need closest to the Dominican border.  We imagine smaller, poorer towns will have massive devastation as well due to inadequate structural integrity even though they are further out from the epicenter.

 

The primary goal is to bring first response relief to those in need, supplies such as food, blankets, shelters, and basic health care will be needed.  Our secondary goal is to identify communities in which we can get involved in long term rebuilding.  In both of these cases, we request prayer for the LORD's leading of our effort and favor, and we also ask for partnership in funding our response. Please consider joining in our work to respond to this great brokenness with the love of Christ.

Give Haiti Prayer
*Photo courtesy http://www.reuters.com/news/world  

After my last post from Belgrade, Serbia, Caitlin and I made our way to Croatia to meet two more of her teams. The teams were staying in a youth drop in center with whom they were doing some ministry and setting up other contacts. As I got settled the first 24 hours I found myself in a very different culture from the one I'd just left in Belgrade - I'm not talking about the countries, I'm talking about the world race teams. I'd left a culture of deep talks around the kitchen table to one of dancing around the kitchen table. Literally. It was a great window into what it's like as a squad leader, jumping from one culture to another within your own squad, finding the different ways each team moves and worships and encouraging it in the way God is taking it, rather than trying to make everyone fit a mold or do what you would do.

 

Something that breaks my heart to see is when the differences between churches drives them apart rather than strengthens them - and it's something I see worldwide. When faced with something we don't understand we don't rush to partner with people to understand it, we cut and run instead. We label it as weird, not for me, not of God, or anything else that means we don't have to get out of what we're comfortable with and into something we're not gonna get right away. What I love though is seeing people embracing the differences God has given us, learning from each other the hundreds of different worship styles that God has enabled us to glorify Him with and enjoy, while being challenged by the complete lack of walls that God has in His personality. It was encouraging watching Caitlin and her co-leaders nurture the teams to be who they are and leave behind what they're not, joining in on the kitchen discussions or doing handstands in the worship room. It's this kind of leadership that pulls the body together stronger than its individual parts - one that encourages a hand to be a hand and a mouth to be a mouth and calls the foot to stop trying to be the stomach and for the lips to stop looking sideways at the hand for waving and not smiling. Leadership that calls people forward while celebrating what and who God has made them to be, both as individuals and as larger bodies. As churches.

I was very thankful that God gave me this opportunity to spend time following Caitlin around, getting a window into what squad leading will look like while also getting to know these awesome teams. God has definitely laid it on me to do this at some point in the near future, it's just a matter of waiting for Him to say when. Or who, I guess, would be more accurate.

I have an excerpt from another blog that really captured a lot of how I view my walk with God, and more specifically 'missions,' so I thought I'd share. This is by a man about to head to Uganda with his family (from http://www.claudandmary.com):

We, or should I say "I", have made a fatal mistake in the western world far too often of applying business principles to the gospel. Both in the church-world and in the missions community, more and more decisions are made not based on principles from scripture or in relation to Christ, but rather from a bottom-line driven mentality. The longer I have walked with Jesus the more I am convinced that the true "kingdom gospel" has nothing to do with programs and institutions and other business based concepts, and everything to do with with love, and family, mothering and fathering. Let me give you a taste what I mean by recreating the average conversation I find myself having with folks recently.
-"So you are moving to Uganda, what is your vision?"
Claud: "Jesus and him alone."
-(frustrated by the simplicity of the first answer) "Well yeah, but I mean what is your ministry?"
C: "I don't really have one. But I hope to ‘Love God and love people'".
-(even more frustrated now) "Ok, so what are your ministry goals or your strategy?"
C: "I really do not have any. I intend to love God with all of my heart, and out of that to love and relate deeply with people"
-(at this point the person either changes the subject, or the conversation goes into a number of interesting directions)
What is the point of me sharing this dialogue. It is this: I am convinced the gospel is simple. I am deeply persuaded by my Father in heaven to get away from the "missions model" or from any model at all for that matter. It has to be about the "Man" and not a model. Even the very word "missions" in itself has a connotation of turning a person into a project or a goal, and happens to be a word I cannot find in the scriptures. It devalues authentic relationship, especially when I feel the need to snap a photo of a person to "blog about them later on in order to get money from a supporter". Therefore I know now more than ever that it is time for me to retire (a second time) from my career in "missions", and get on with the gospel among Africans.

Last year I was reading a book called 'The Irresistible Revolution' by Shane Claiborne, a book about living for each other in community within our intensely independent culture. In this one part he told a story about a trip he took to Iraq, right at the beginning of the US invasion. His reason for going was simple - to love our brothers and sisters there, even as his own government and army dropped bombs on their homes. Obviously he goes into more detail in the book, and if you haven't read it I highly recommend it, but my reason for talking about it is this - as I read about Shane and his friends standing with their brothers and sisters in Christ through the bombings simply to let them know they were not alone, I began thinking about all the wars I've studied in books, seen news clips about, and heard 10 second updates for on the radio. I wondered about how the family of God responded in those times, if Christians on both sides ever sought each other out to stand together in hope in a similar way.

This week as I wander the streets of Belgrade and see the remains of a bombed building in the midst of a bustling, lively city that I've come to love, I wonder if anyone came here to stand with our brothers and sisters as NATO dropped that bomb (and many others) in its attempt to end the atrocities against Kosovo a decade ago. I know what the general consensus was on this side, I can see it in the monuments - 'Dedicated to the children killed by NATO aggression' pretty much says it all. And I know from text books and what I remember of news clips in '99 that our consensus was we were fighting on the side of right, fighting for justice. But what I want to know, what actually matters to me in the body of Christ is this: did we step up as a family and ignore what the world was telling us to think about a people and instead remember that we have family members that are cut off, alone, and in danger for their lives? By what I'm told of missionary activity here in Serbia, I don't think we did. At least not much. And I know we didn't do much of that in either the Iraq or Afghanistan wars either.

 

So what is our response to be? We look at these conflicts and know there is nothing we can do to stop them. We also would argue that putting ourselves in harms way does nothing to stop the fighting, so what is the use of risking our lives? What I want us all (myself oh so included) to chew on is this: '...as I have loved you, so you must love one another. BY THIS all men will know you are my disciples...' The point is not to save lives (not directly, anyway, and not so much the physical ones). Nor is it to end the conflict (though it would be nice). It is not even to preach, pray, or worship - these are all just things we do in the process. The point is to give such great love for one another that all men would know who it is we follow. That, as always, our love for God would be such a part of our every day lives that it would show in a love for each other that would drive us to such great lengths as risking our own lives just to bring our brothers and sisters a hope that comes in knowing you don't stand alone. That we would love too much to leave them cut off in the midst of darkness.

 

I don't know if there was anything that could've stopped the bombs from falling on this great city a decade ago, or to stop this government from doing what it did to Kosovo and its people. It doesn't matter. What does matter is I know I would have forgotten that I have family here when I saw it all on the news and would've instead focused on who was right, who was wrong, and who I was most frustrated with. I want to love more than that. I want to love beyond borders and nations and sides and even beyond right and wrong. I want to love with a reckless abandon that puts others first and me last. I want to love as God loves. I need to love as God loves.